Sunday, December 19, 2010

Funny X-mas~~

Toy Escape
Late Christmas Eve, when all was still,
And the room was dark as night,
The Christmas tree lit magically;
It was a fantastic sight!
Then from around the tree trunk came,
A strange and funny sound,
As gifts began to unwrap themselves,
And toys jumped out all around.
The music box began to play,
And in a crazy trance,
The candy canes jumped off the tree
To do a silly dance.
The big stuffed bear leaped to his feet,
To see what he could see;
He rode a shiny, bright red bike
Around the Christmas tree.
The new toy kitchen started to cook,
And before you could blink an eye,
The oven door opened, and from inside
Came a tiny pizza pie.
A squirt gun squirted everything;
It knew what it was for;
By the time that it was emptied out,
A big puddle lay on the floor.
A beautiful doll with golden hair
Was searching for a friend;
A toy soldier marched up and took her hand;
They were a perfect blend.
In the bedroom were a boy and girl,
Asleep in Christmas dreams;
The soldier saluted; the doll gave a kiss;
At least that's the way it seems.
Now everything began to tire;
The toys went back in place;
But when mother woke in the morning,
You should have seen her face.
The tree was fine; the gifts were there,
Yet mother gave a roar;
She looked at her wet shoes and yelled,
"What's this puddle on my floor?"
By Joanna Fuchs
Funny Christmas poems are very popular. Here's a humorous Christmas poem that centers on eating.
Holiday Feasting
Holiday time is for feasting;
We look forward to each treat.
The tables are full of our favorite foods;
We’ve got lots of good things to eat.
We scarf marshmallowed sweet potatoes;
There’s cider and eggnog to slurp.
There’s so much going down at once,
Who can help an occasional burp?
Here’s the turkey, dressing and gravy;
Let’s all get down to chewing it,
And if we pass a little gas,
Who’ll notice? Everyone’s doing it.
Dessert is three kinds of pie;
Then pass the box of candy.
Next year will you please remind us
To have Alka-Seltzer handy!
By Joanna Fuchs

X-mas and new year greetings~~

Christmas New Year Wish
I made a Christmas wish for you,
For a holiday full of pleasure,
Friends and family all around,
And memories to treasure.
I wish for you a Christmas filled
With joyous holiday cheer;
I wish you a Merry Christmas,
And a very Happy New Year!
By Joanna Fuchs
This Christmas New Year poem evokes memories of the pleasures of each holiday season.
Precious Memories
May this holiday season
leave you with precious memories:
A Christmas filled with love and light,
perfect gifts, delicious foods,
love and joy all around.
A New Year with continuing blessings—
friends, family, good work, great fun,
and delightful surprises.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
By Joanna Fuchs
Christmas poetry for cards is usually general, for wide application as this free Christmas greeting is. It's a Merry Christmas poem, and there's a Happy New Year wish in it, too.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year
We're wishing you a Christmas
Full of laughter, love and light,
With delicious holiday foods
To excite your appetite.
We're hoping you receive
Delightful gifts to make you smile,
With family and friends
To love you all the while.
We wish you a Merry Christmas;
May your Christmas dreams come true,
And when Christmas is over,
Happy New Year, too!

X-mas For ya L0ve♥♥♥

Christmas Love
At Christmastime I think of all the gifts
That bring me great delight and sweet surprise,
But nothing in this world can bring such joy
As you do, when you look into my eyes.
And when I contemplate what Christmas means,
The caring and the giving--I confess,
You've given me the things I want the most:
Your love, your touch, your kiss, your warm caress.
The Christmas tree reminds me, with its lights
That just the thought of you sets me aglow;
You light me up from deep within my heart,
Because I cherish you, and love you so.
With you it's Christmas all the time, sweetheart.
I treasure every hour and every minute.
Your love is all I'll ever want because,
My life is so fulfilling with you in it.

X-mas for your friends

The Christmas Gift of Knowing You
The Christmas season fills our hearts with joy;
Bright, happy days bring special kinds of pleasure.
We're wrapped in the excitement of it all,
The sights, the sounds, the smells, the tastes we treasure.
Yet when we have some quiet time to think
About our finest blessings all year through,
We focus on our family and our friends,
And appreciate the gift of knowing you

Family X-mas

Looking for a Christmas card greeting idea? Here's a family Christmas poem that has a number of applications. You might send it to a daughter-in-law or son-in-law, or other members of the family that is now yours because of a marriage. You could also use it to accompany a Christmas gift.
Family Joys
Christmas is filled with special joys,
And the very best of all
Is contemplating those dear to us,
And the memories we recall.
We often think at Christmas time
Of people, affectionately,
And we realize how blessed we are
To have you in our family.
(or, "To be in your family," or, "To be part of your family.")
By Joanna Fuchs
Looking for a Christmas card greeting saying? This Christmas poem could be used as a family Christmas poem or as a Christmas poem for friends. You could use it as a greeting or give it with a Christmas gift.
Year-Round Joy
Christmas is full of shiny things
That sparkle, gleam and glow;
These holiday pleasures dazzle us,
And yet, deep down, we know...
That Christmas has its special gifts,
But our year-round joy depends
On the cherished people in our lives,
Our family and our friends.
By Joanna Fuchs

X-mas Tree

Christmas Tree Poem
Christmas tree, sparkling bright,
Filled with baubles, warmth and light,
Precious symbol of our affection
For Christmas time and its perfection,
Show each night your radiant glory
For "oohs" and "aahs" obligatory.
Christmas tree, don't let us down;
Show something special at your crown,
An angel, star, or splendid piece
To make our holiday joy increase,
An icon, pure, ideal, complete,
For Christmas memories fond and sweet.
Glitter and glisten, gleam and glow,
Oh Christmas tree, we love you so!

Christmas poems often mention winter weather and snow, but lots of people celebrate the holiday in warm climates. It occurred to me to write a Christmas greeting poem for the gazillions of people who live in California, Florida, and other places where it never snows. Note: Make this Christmas poem your own: If "beach" doesn't fit, substitute "best." Fill in your state or town where it says "location."
A Sunny Christmas
Every year at Christmas time
There's not a sign of snow.
Instead we spend our yuletide days
In the sun's warm cheery glow.
We have the best of Christmas things,
The lights, the gifts, the bells,
(And "snowbirds" who arrive en masse
To fill our beach hotels.)
The glorious weather fits right in
With our happy Christmas mood,
And we can also walk and run
Without having to be snowshoed.
So don't feel bad for your (location) friends
Who have no snow or ice.
We think our sunny Christmas here
Is a holiday paradise!

X-mas

Christmas Joys
Evergreen boughs that fill our homes
With fragrant Christmas scents,
Hearts filled with the loving glow
That Christmas represents;
Christmas cookies, turkeys stuffed,
Festive holly berry,
Little faces bright with joy,
Loved ones being merry;
Parties, songs, beribboned gifts,
Silver bells that tinkle,
Christmas trees and ornaments,
Colorful lights that twinkle;
Relatives waiting with open arms
To smile and hug and kiss us;
These are some of the special joys
That come along with Christmas.
By Joanna Fuchs
Christmas poetry often celebrates that special holiday spirit. Here's a Christmas poem about keeping the Christmas spirit year 'round. This free Christmas card verse would also be good on the gift tag that goes along with a Christmas gift.
Recipe for Christmas All Year Long
Take a heap of child-like wonder
That opens up our eyes
To the unexpected gifts in life—
Each day a sweet surprise.
Mix in fond appreciation
For the people whom we know;
Like festive Christmas candles,
Each one has a special glow.
Add some giggles and some laughter,
A dash of Christmas food,
(Amazing how a piece of pie
Improves our attitude!)
Stir it all with human kindness;
Wrap it up in love and peace,
Decorate with optimism, and
Our joy will never cease.
If we use this healthy recipe,
We know we will remember
To be in the Christmas spirit,
Even when it's not December.

Merry X-mas♥♥

What Do We Love About Christmas?
What do we love about Christmas;
Does our delight reside in things?
Or are the feelings in our hearts
The real gift that Christmas brings.
It's seeing those we love,
And sending Christmas cards, too,
Appreciating people who bring us joy
Special people just like you.
By Joanna Fuchs
Many people are searching for Christmas greeting words and poems. We hope you enjoy these free Christmas greeting sayings. They are perfect for Christmas card messages and verses. You probably are also thinking about Christmas gifts. Some of the most popular Christmas gifts are personalized gifts. A personalized holiday gift says, "I care enough to take the time to find a Christmas gift that's uniquely for you." For those who agree, we have a link below to a page full of personalized gifts, so you can choose the perfect holiday gift for the really important people on your list. Take a look.
This Christmas rhyme is perfect for accompanying a Christmas gift. It's a Christmas greeting message that will warm the hearts of the recipients.
The Nicest Present
Under the tree the gifts enthrall,
But the nicest present of them all
Is filling our thoughts with those who care,
Wanting our Christmas joy to share.
To you, whom we're often thinking of,
We send our holiday joy and love.

Friday, December 17, 2010

Funny?

Funny Messages 

☻Be friendly with your kids, they choose your home when you are old! 

☻Be nice to the ones who smoke.. every cigarette migh be their last. 

☻Excessive use of alcohol can lead to a pregnancy. 

☻HALLO, this is your mobile. There is no particular problem. I just wanted to leave your pocket, want the smell is unbearable!!! 

☻I am a killer,I kill people for money…..But because you are my friend,I’ll kill you for nothing! 

☻I am not stupid, I am blond!!! B – L – O – N – T 

☻roses are red, violets are blue, most poems ryhm, but this one doesn’t… 

☻What he want, I do not want … What I want, he does not want … What we want, is not allowed! 

☻A girl phoned me the other day and said…”Come on over, there’s nobody home.” I went over. Nobody was home 

Hmm~~Girls Rulez!

1. Do not cheat on a girl. We girls talk, we WILL know, and we WILL find out, and we WILL dump you! 

2. Be aware of all your girlfriends’ guy friends, brothers, fathers, or anything. They are protective. Every single male friend we have will kick your ass if you end up hurting her. 

3. Never ever miss an opportunity to tell her that she’s beautiful. We girls love that. 

4. If she slapped you hard, you probably deserved it.

5. Do not be afraid of holding her. If she’s going out with you in the first place, it’s obvious that she likes you and wants to be in your arms.

6. Every girl should eventually get three things from her boyfriend -- a stuffed animal, one of his sweatshirts or hoodie’s, and a really pretty piece of jewelry. 

7. Make sure she gets home safely as often as you can. If you're dropping her off, walk her to the door. If you aren't dropping her off, call to be sure she's home safely. We think that’s really cute and sweet.

8. If a guy is bothering your girlfriend, it is your right to beat the sh!t out of him. 

9. If you're talking to a female friend of yours, pull your girlfriend closer. It’ll make her feel secure that you love her more than the other girl.

10. Never ever slap her, even if it's just in a joking way. Even if she swats you first, and says, "Oh, you're so dumb" or something, never make any gestures back. 

11. Go along with her to a chick flick once in a while. She doesn't care whether you enjoy it or not, it just matters that you went with her. 

12. If you're officially dating, and you're introducing her to your friends, you'd better damn well introduce her as your girlfriend. Or else.

13. Girls are fragile. Even if you're play fighting/wrestling, be very gentle. Let her win once in a while. 

14. Memorize your girlfriend’s birthday. You forget her birthday and you're basically screwed for life. Not gonna lie.

15. Don't drench yourself in the cologne, but smell good. 

16. You don’t have to spend a million dollars on the Birthday/Christmas/Valentine gift. It doesn't have to be expensive, or cost anything but it has to be meaningful. 

17. Don’t ever lie to us; we always find out.

18. Don’t say you understand when you don’t. That’s bad.

19. Remember: Girls are pretty, but yours is the Prettiest!

20. Saying something sweet might get you off the hook; but doing something sweet will always get you off the hook.

21. Size does matter, but only to hoes; not girls that want relationships.

22. No matter what you say, your ex-girlfriend is a hoe. Don’t bother trying to convince us otherwise, that is a bad idea

23. It’s good to be sensitive, to a point.

24. If you did something wrong, apologize. Even if you didn’t, do it anyway.

25. You did something bad. I seem cool with it. I'm not. (See directly above.) 

26. We are self-conscious by nature; we can’t help it. Let it be.

27. We don’t shave our legs every day so just get over it.

28. Shave your face, no matter how cool you think your goatee or beard or mustache looks, we probably hate it. We like you clean shaven.

29. Show off a little, we think it’s cute.

30. You are our boyfriend, our man, our protector, whether you know it or not, you are; act like it.

31. You are cute in raglan-sleeved T-shirts (two-toned baseball undershirts). 

32. We love it when you hug us from behind and whisper in our ear.

33. "Fine" is NEVER an appropriate response when I ask you how I look. 

34. Most of the time when I fantasize, it's about you. Don’t obsess over that.

35. I expect you to call me. If you don’t, you go down.

36. I'm more forgiving of you than I really should be. Don’t you dare take advantage of that.

37. When I compare my flabby tummy to a kangaroo pouch, say nothing. 

38. You look hot in hooded clothing items. Always.

39. You should never tell a girl what to do. Ever.

40. Any decent man will ask a girl out to her face. I mean; if you aren’t man enough to ask us out to our face, who says youre gonna be man enough to our boyfriend at all.

41. Girls are very impressed when you ask them for advice. Unless its about another girl. 

42. I'm unimpressed with a man who doesn't take the lead. 

43. When in doubt, go with the shirt that matches your eye color. 

44. You're sexy when you're shaving, fixing things, wearing a white T-shirt and jeans, driving, eating a peach, holding a baby. 

45. Girls need to hear how you feel about them. Often. Tell her now. 

46. A girl wants to be the best thing that ever happened to you--and for you to recognize this and tell her. 

47. If she’s not feeling loved, she will start looking.... 

48. We like it when you tell us what you're thinking, even if you don't know yourself. It’s cute.

49. It's cheating as soon as you're doing something with her that you wouldn't want me to see, hear, read... 

50. For the record: I'd rather you break up with me than cheat. 

51. We can fall in love with you without really knowing you, if you are an @ss, we will find out, and we will get over it. Fast. Don't ruin it.

52. You like her, make a move. Don’t just sit there, you will fail, and you won’t get her.

53. Baseball players are hot. The sport makes you skinny and your arm muscles… well, it’s hot. We’ll go to all your games even if we hate baseball.

54. When you compliment us, we aren't sure how to accept the compliment without leading you on or reject the compliment without hurting you. So just bear with us here.

55. WE HATE BEING LED ON! If you think it's bad being led on by a girl, try being led on by a guy.

56. We like it when guys are willing to have an actual relationship, not just a one-night stand. Most girls don't like pimps or players, just guys who like ONE girl only.

57. But don't be obssessive. Major turn-off.

58. Call sometimes, just to say hi, not for a certain reason. When we see your number on caller ID, our heart always skips a beat. Try calling just to say good night, or good morning, its soo adorable!

59. BE HONEST!

60. Don't ONLY tell us what we want to hear. We HATE that.

61. At sleepovers, if you wonder what we talk about, quit worrying. It really is only you.

62. If you catch us staring, it is most likely because we're spacing out, not because we really stare at you. Unless we smile when you notice. Then you either look really hot, or we like you.

63. We like it when you hold us when we're crying. It's good to feel loved and safe.

64. Don't go to our friends to talk about us. Come straight to us.

65. Don't tell us you love us unless you are positive you mean it. If we don't say it back, it's just that we really want to mean it when we say it. Don't say it right away, then it shows lack of commitment.

66. We like our hands to be held and our waists to be touched.

67. We like you to kiss our hand and cheeks and forehead (esp. forehead!!), not just shove your tongue down our throats. We do like to breathe.

68. We like it when you're tender, but don't lose your masculinity.

69. Do chivalrous things when we least expect it (ex. holding doors for us).

70. As surprising as it may be, while guys might actually look at personality, the first thing girls look at tends to be looks. We're not going to see you and think, 'I wonder what his personality is like!' Terrible, but true. 

71. If we love you, and youre hurt on the basketball court, rolling on the floor in pain; we’re hurting more just watching you.

72. We LOVE it when you get nervous around us. It's adorable! Don't think you have to be Mr. Cool Guy all the time.

73. Don't play hard to get. We’ll get bored and move on.

74. If you don't call us, then we will spend hours thinking about why you never called, and we will waste a lot of time thinking about it, eventually coming to the conclusion that we don't like you anymore.

75. We lost interest quickly if you lead us on but never take action.

76. We might seem to flirt a lot, but a girl always thinks about the one guy she really likes right before she falls asleep.

77. When a girl likes a guy, she subconsciously gives him a song that makes her think of him every time she hears it.

78. If guys do the same as girls do in #77, tell her what song reminds you of her.

79. Randomly compliment girls in conversations. If you're talking about sports, be like "Oh, by the way, that shirt really made your eyes look green today." It totally throws us off, and we love it.

80. Ask us about how we're doing once in a while, and at least pretend to be interested.

81. If we're not talking to you, we secretly want you to talk to us first.

82. Play with our hair without being like a gay hairstylist.

83. We get really happy when you show any sign of interest. Don't just do it and then never do it again. Bad bad bad…

84. Keep up the conversation on IM and phones and in person! Don't be awkward. That’s bad.

85. We will always feel bad if we don't like you back. Not all girls are b!tches, no matter what you may think. We hate to reject you.

86. ok, so some girls are b!tches and they like rejecting boys, but the people who wrote this group are not. better?

87. If we say "Let's just be friends", we really mean it. Don't keep trying to pursue us, and don't say ok and then ignore us. That's just mean and horrible.

88. It's adorable when a best guy friend who a girl has thought about liking confesses he likes her.

89. If you’re single, find the one girl who’s always there on the sidelines at your football game, or at each of your concerts, all your baseball games. She loves you. Her excuse may be that she’s there for her brother, but she’s really there for you.

90. After you find that girl, smile at her once in a while, it’ll mean the world to her.

91. Get to know her, you’ll make her year first of all, and maybe, just maybe, you’ll end up liking her.

92. Not all blondes are b!tches. Some are cool. 

93. Not all blondes are sluts. Some have morals.

94. In your mind, give every girl a chance. Each one deserves at least one.

95. Girls fantasize too, its just not always about sex.

96. We girls give you guys code names so that you don’t know that we’re talking about you. :]

97. If you’re jealous, it may suck for you, but we think it’s attractive if you really care that much.

98. If a girl blushes when you talk to her, she either likes you or she's embarrassed by what you're saying.

99. Girls don’t really write your name on a piece of paper a million times if they like you, that’s a myth…… sometimes

100. If a girl really likes you, just seeing you will make her day.

101. Even if you aren’t all that cute, and we like you, we think you’re hot. Don’t take advantage of that, take pride in that.

102. Every time you smile at us, it may mean only a little to you, but it means the world to us. Don't take the little things forgranted. 

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